I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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