don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
