he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
