My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't turn off my feet"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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