woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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