you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
