shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My vagina is officially offended.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
