I puked a lego.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
