Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
