discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
