She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
