kristin has been a bad kristin
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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