i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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