I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
