The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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