The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
