I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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