I understand Curling. That high.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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