Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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