The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
