So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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