All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
