Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
