You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
