Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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