if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
