the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
