if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
