I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i think i just lost a toe
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
