YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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