you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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