I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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