Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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