We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
