If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
