I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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