ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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