I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
