...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
