brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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