Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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