i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
