I want to make a zoo with you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
