I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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