I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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