i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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