Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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