She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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