A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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