I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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