i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
