I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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