I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
