yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish i was in the wii world.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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